A lot of you already know, but incase you don’t…THIS SASSY ASS GAL IS SINGLE.
Cheers to that sistah.
So like, I’m totally over the whole “crying into my pillow and stuffing my face with chocolate” phase.
Well…maybe not the chocolate part. But the tears are big fat NOPE.
And y’know what? Being single is actually GOD DAMN FUN.
I’m having the time of my life, and a few weeks ago…I really wouldn’t have thought I would be.
So here’s my top 10 tips on how to be the happiest single that I just know you can be.
1) BE THE CLINGIEST BEST FRIEND A GIRL COULD EVER ASK FOR.
In other words, basically date your friends. Being in a relationship can sometimes distract you away from knowing just how amazing your friends are. Organise a wine night, order a takeaway, spam the group chat…you know the drill. Ya girls or your bro’s are what truly matter.
2) Shake your booty all around the dance floor.
YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. Did you know that shaking your bum releases positive hormones into your blood stream? Okay, that was a lie. BUT IT MAKES YOU FEEL PRETTY DOWN RIGHT FABULOUS, so do it anyway.
3) Eat Pizza.
Pizza cures all. Need I say more?
4) Download cringey dating apps.
Tinder…bleurgh. Although y’know what? It’s actually quite hilarious. Download it for the laugh. Hashtag BANTS. ####
Within a few days, swiping left or right will be your second language. OWN IT.
5) Get super duper drunk
and call your ex.
Okay, get so drunk that you’re like EX-WHO?!?!
But make sure your phone is safely in a hidden pocket that your drunk self probably won’t find. Calling your ex is a classic mistake…and we’re too megga sassy for that kinda’ thing.
6) Blast “Shoutout To My Ex” and any other break up song you could possibly think of over and over again.
Even your neighbours will start to wonder if they’re going through a break up too…
7) Talk to new people.
When you’re single, you realise there’s actually 7 billion more people you could be talking to. (And some of them are pretty cool.)
8) Watch all the chick flicks you own.
Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging? Check.
Dirty Dancing? Check.
The dusty box under your bed crammed with soppy disney films? CHECK.
9) Enjoy the whole “omg shall i put a wink face or not??” and “how many kisses” hoo-har.
Learn how to play the gaaaameee guuuurl. (Oh, and fyi, two kisses is always a go-to.)
10) Go to bed and wake up in the morning knowing that you only need yourself to make you happy.
And I promise you, that’s the only happy ending you will need.
Let me know if you have any other tips on how to be the happiest single going!